Twitterness!

• 11:23 Still can't figure out how people get to college without learning how to use a library. :( #

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Twitterness!

• 17:35 Patron, asking for a pencil: "I can't access the Web site, but I can get it down and go to the Internet." Whut? #

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Twitterness!

• 10:24 OPAC search: Snedeker (of Haunting in Connecticut fame). Results: Fire Safety for Kids. #

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Twitterness!

• 13:17 Dude. If you shut up and LISTEN for a second, the librarian will explain it to you. #

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Twitterness!

• 13:33 One minute I was looking up Chinese astrology, and the next thing I knew I was watching videos of cats playing the theremin. What happened? #

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Twitterness!

• 13:44 Do you want me to look it up for you, or did you just want to complain? #

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Twitterness!

• 11:35 I don't know what's going on here #

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Twitterness!

• 18:38 No, I will not check your email FOR you if you're too cheap to fork over two dollars to use a computer. #

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Twitterness!

• 09:22 "Growing your library" - you're doing it wrong: tinyurl.com/ljlm53 #

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Twitterness!

• 14:36 One adult to another adult, in a whisper: "Shhhhh... this is the liberry." #

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Twitterness!

• 14:56 How do grown-ups not know how to ask questions? If you come to the desk and say only, "Computers!" be prepared to answer some questions. #

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Twitterness!

• 14:00 This guy is either the luckiest or the unluckiest SOB alive: tinyurl.com/d5dcqh #

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Twitterness!

• 17:36 Note to self: plz to not be referring to books about stroke as "stroke books." #

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A mystery mystery

I'm not a big fan of mysteries or thrillers, but I could have sworn that last night I read about a really interesting-sounding one, a little offbeat, just the way I like my books. Now I have a sneaking suspicion that I only dreamt it. Poo.

Twitterness!

• 12:34 Hahaha, someone has an R2-D2 ringtone. #

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I wish I could refuse to help these people

Stupid: Parent comes alone to the library to do kid's homework.

Bonus stupid: Parent comes alone to the library to do kid's homework and tells the librarian, "They want him to learn to use the library."

YOU, sir, have FAILED as a parent.

---

Phone number lady report: Nike headquarters

Mr. Subject report: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

How may I redirect your call?

Office phone: *bleepybleepy*

Me: Joytown Public Library this is Stray how can I help you?
Caller: Who is this?
Me: *a little louder* Stray.
Caller: Is this Earl's Body Shop?
Me: No, this is Joytown Public Library
Caller: Oh! I'm sorry.

Twitterness!

• 15:31 I was just asked a reference question. IN THE RESTROOM. Can't a girl have a little peace? #

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Shocking!

We are open until 8 Monday through Thursday, and until 5 Friday and Saturday. Every week. And yet every Friday, some asshat is shocked - SHOCKED, I tell you! - when we make the closing announcement at 4:30. Sorry, asshats, we want to go home.

Twitterness!

• 15:05 If you get an error message while doing stuff on our Web site, write down the error message. FOR GOD'S SAKE, WRITE DOWN THE ERROR MESSAGE #

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Twitterness!

• 12:00 Sick. Not bad enough to stay home, just bad enough to make me miserable at work. :( #

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Score one for the nerds

Congratulations to Neil Gaiman, whose book The Graveyard Book has won the Newbery Medal!

Twitterness!

• 16:39 Whoever said there are no stupid questions never worked in a library. #

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Twitterness!

• 15:15 I hate repeating myself. I hate repeating myself. I hate repeating myself. Pull your head out of la-la land and LISTEN. #

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Twitterness!

• 14:29 Not allowed to "fix" the public computers with my sonic screwdriver (tinyurl.com/974rbu. #

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Inauguration Day

We've got a giant TV set up so people can watch the festivities. Also, there are flurries outside! It's an Inauguration Day miracle!

Manners

I was working the reference desk (duh), and I heard a huge belch come from over by the computers. I looked over, figuring it was some dumbass kid, and no. It was a young woman, at least 18 years old and not the least bit embarrassed. What the HELL. At least say, "Excuse me"!

Twitterness!

• 16:02 Kid to mom, in a loud whisper: "SHHHH. Mama! Be quiet!" #

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Foot-in-mouth disease

This woman about my age asked for help printing an email from her computer. I helped her, no big deal, she paid for the printouts. As she was leaving she said, "Your shoes are great, by the way."
"Thanks!" I said.
She continued to walk out the door, and as she went she said this to me:
"They're really 'in style'... not that you care..."

And before I could reply, she was gone.


Earlier this evening, I taught Computers for n00bs. There was a teenage boy and an older couple, Dr. and Mrs. Battleaxe. Dr. Battleaxe was very nice and quiet, and a little timid with the computers. Why? Well, Mrs. Battleaxe was trying to take over teaching him. She was a little swifter than her husband, and I get the impression that it was her idea for him to come to the class, too. Instead of dealing with her own stuff, or helping him in a useful manner, she kept commanding him to do stuff that I was trying to teach.

Me: OK, to copy and paste, highlight the word... good, then click on Edit...
Dr. B: *can't find it*
Mrs. B: Click on Edit. CLICK ON EDIT. EDIT. CLICK ON EDIT.
Dr. B: *confused*
Me: Ma'am... he's fine. *to Dr. B* Here, Edit is in the top lefthand corner of your screen, right here...
Dr. B: Oh, ok...

So it went.

When we were finished with the class, Dr. B. just wanted to go home. Mrs. B. signed up for the next couple of classes, but Dr. B. declined. I hate to think she put him off computers. I hope maybe he'll come in again, and I can get him to sign up for a different, Mrs. B-less session. *sigh*

Tax FAQs

Ahhh, tax season. Time for some Frequently Asked Questions.

Q: Where are the tax forms?
A: On the table right behind you, dork.

Q: Which 1040 do I need?
A: I can't advise you on that, but here's the thing the IRS sent us.

Q: Can't you help me?
A: I can show you that instruction sheet, but I can't give tax advice. However, we do have volunteers here every year to help with taxes.

Q: Can you help me file my taxes online?
A: Hell no. However, we do have volunteers here every year to help with taxes.

Q: When are the tax people going to be here?
A: We have no idea. We've been trying to touch base with the tax-help volunteers for about two weeks, and have heard nothing.

Q: But I need my taxes done!
A: Sorry. Keep checking back.

Q: You need to...
A: The volunteers are not affiliated with the library. They just use our space. Sorry.

Q: You're no help at all.
A: Sorry. I'm a librarian, not a CPA. Here's the number for the IRS.

Q: Do you have any 1099 forms?
A: No, and we can't print one out for you from the Web site because it is a carbon-copy form. I hate to tell you this, but you need to contact the IRS. Here's their number.

Q: I have to CALL them?
A: Sorry. Have fun.

Q: But it's April 14th!
A: Sorry, my TARDIS is in the shop.

Twitterness!

• 08:55 World's oldest person credits bacon: www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2009/01/07/coogan.oldest.person.kcal #
• 11:21 Just found out what's inside a tape dispenser. Sand. A lot of it. Oops. #

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Twitterness!

• 19:14 Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. #

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Twitterness!

• 12:18 Things found in books while weeding: One used "spot"-style adhesive bandage. One-half toothpick. One unidentified blue piece of plastic. #

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