Monday, January 12, 2009

Tax FAQs

Ahhh, tax season. Time for some Frequently Asked Questions.

Q: Where are the tax forms?
A: On the table right behind you, dork.

Q: Which 1040 do I need?
A: I can't advise you on that, but here's the thing the IRS sent us.

Q: Can't you help me?
A: I can show you that instruction sheet, but I can't give tax advice. However, we do have volunteers here every year to help with taxes.

Q: Can you help me file my taxes online?
A: Hell no. However, we do have volunteers here every year to help with taxes.

Q: When are the tax people going to be here?
A: We have no idea. We've been trying to touch base with the tax-help volunteers for about two weeks, and have heard nothing.

Q: But I need my taxes done!
A: Sorry. Keep checking back.

Q: You need to...
A: The volunteers are not affiliated with the library. They just use our space. Sorry.

Q: You're no help at all.
A: Sorry. I'm a librarian, not a CPA. Here's the number for the IRS.

Q: Do you have any 1099 forms?
A: No, and we can't print one out for you from the Web site because it is a carbon-copy form. I hate to tell you this, but you need to contact the IRS. Here's their number.

Q: I have to CALL them?
A: Sorry. Have fun.

Q: But it's April 14th!
A: Sorry, my TARDIS is in the shop.

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